Ways to use this list
- Joke of the day in class: a pupil draws a card and reads only the question, and the class gets ten seconds to guess before the punchline.
- Lunchbox napkins: write the question on the front and the punchline on the back, so the joke gets read twice.
- Reading practice for 6 to 8 year olds: jokes are short, and children reread them happily until the timing is just right.
- Waiting for food at a café: pass the phone round and give each person three jokes to tell; groans count as points.
- Sleepover comedy hour: everyone performs one joke in their best presenter voice, and whoever gets the loudest laugh picks the next teller.
Press Draw a card, tap the game or press the Space bar. Change the list in the box as you
like: add your own, delete what doesn't suit you, or write *2 after an entry to give it double the
chance. The game buttons switch the same list to a wheel, duck race, hat and more.
The full list (47 entries)
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
- Why don't eggs tell jokes? They would crack each other up.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired.
- What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
- Why did the teddy bear say no to pudding? It was already stuffed.
- What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
- How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why did the maths book look sad? It had too many problems.
- What did one wall say to the other wall? Meet you at the corner.
- Why are skeletons so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
- What do you call a dog that does magic? A labracadabrador.
- What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
- What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt.
- What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
- Why did the biscuit go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby.
- What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
- Knock knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it's cold.
- Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke.
- Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting c– MOO.
- Knock knock. Who's there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you.
- Knock knock. Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and I miss you.
- Knock knock. Who's there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, a cow says moo.
- What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick.
- What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- What do elves learn at school? The elf-abet.
- Why do bees have sticky hair? They use honeycombs.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why couldn't the pony sing? It was a little hoarse.
- What do you call a train full of bubblegum? A chew-chew train.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well.
- Where do fish keep their money? In the riverbank.
- What has ears but cannot hear? A field of corn.
- Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
- What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud.
- What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
- Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
- What do clouds wear under their clothes? Thunderwear.
- How do you throw a party in space? You planet.
- Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
- What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? Irrelephant.
- Why can't a leopard hide? It's always spotted.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of trousers? In case he got a hole in one.
📖 Related guide: Who goes first? 12 fair ways to decide
Questions people ask
What is the funniest joke for kids?
Every family has its own winner, but puns with a picture in them tend to land best with children: the fish with no eyes, the bicycle that was two tired and the impasta. Younger kids often love the interrupting cow most.
Are these jokes kind to everyone?
Yes. No joke here makes fun of a group of people, a body or a name; the punchlines come from puns, animals and silly logic, so nobody in the room is the target.
How do I keep the punchline a surprise?
Read the card yourself first, then say only the question out loud and wait. Letting people guess before you reveal the answer is half the fun, especially with groaners like the waist of time.
Are these jokes funny for adults too?
They are clean jokes, the kind that make a dinner table groan and then get repeated later. Adults usually like the wordplay ones best, such as the irrelephant and the snowman in July.